Road Construction

Getting back into my blogging after a year and a half hiatus. I apologize to both of my followers.

Today, I am going to take a little "detour" from the dorky titles and just let my horrible metaphors speak for themselves.

Earlier this week, I was going to the library and was surprised (and let's face it - irritated) to learn that the road that I normally take was "Closed to Through Traffic." (On a side note - I really hate that term. What exactly is "through"? That only tells me that it is closed somewhere between where I am and where the road ends. I only need to know if it is closed before or after my own personal destination.) So, I had to turn around in the high school parking lot, and I started thinking, "Whose bright idea was this to start a road construction project, on a road with 2 schools on it (one high school and one grade school,) the week before school starts???" They had all summer to do this. Why wait till now? It just didn't make sense to me.

And while we are on the subject of road construction that doesn't make sense: Why do they rip up 20 miles of interstate when they are only working on 1/4 mile at a time? And why on earth do they start 15 projects at once and work on them a little each week for the entire road construction season, rather than quickly finishing one project at a time? I'm sure there is some sort of reasoning to it, but I don't understand it.

So, while I am pondering this in my car, driving all the way around the block to get to the library, I had a very odd thought. I don't usually think this deep, so my only explanation is that it was Divine inspiration. Isn't this the same way that we try to fix ourselves? Certain times of year, like the start of school or the start of a new year, we get a wild hair to change everything that is wrong with us at once, regardless of what else is going on. We are going to be healthier, more organized, thriftier, more spiritual, and more productive. The reality is that we buy a gym membership (out goes thrifty), we are mentally exhausted from reading food labels and counting calories (bye-bye productive), we clean out all the closets, but can't afford to organize it the way we want thanks to that gym membership (so long organized), we stay up half the night trying to get everything done (no more healthy,) and now you are dozing off trying to read your Scriptures and can't find the energy to make it to Bible study (I think you can see where this is going.)

Wouldn't it be wiser to work on one thing at a time? Or maybe try a little moderation? Instead of "ripping up 20 miles of interstate," why not start by taking a 30 minute walk 3-4 times a week? Instead of starting 15 projects at once or trying to meet some sort of unrealistic deadline, why not try organizing one closet or room each week? After all, it's not like your life has a road construction season.

Sing Like a Dork

I like to explain to my friends and family that God gave me the gift to sing loud, but not necessarily in tune. If they don't like my singing, they should take it up with Him. I am just using the gifts that He gave me. I believe the people who generally sit in front of me in church have gotten used to it and are now also tone deaf.

Besides singing in church, I also love to sing in the car. However, instead of being embarrassed about other people seeing me, I sing louder and start pointing at them while I dance, like I'm the headliner at a rock concert and I want them to come back stage and hang out later. They usually either laugh or at least stop staring. My teenage daughter plays along when it is just the two of us in the car, but a couple of times I have forgotten that her friends are there. They think I'm cool.

Lastly, I also sing with my headphones on while I am doing chores around the house. Nobody sings well with headphones on, so in order to maintain the grading curve, I sing extra loud and dance around the living room. Don't get me started on my awesome dance moves.

How to Dress Like a Dork

I have been told many times by my teenage daughter and my younger sister that I was not blessed with fashion sense. After reciting in my head the "sticks and stones" anthem that every dork keeps in a little pocket next to their self esteem, I firmly remind them that I am more concerned about common sense and would rather be comfortable than cute. If you would like to join my new trend, here is some advice on how to jump off the bandwagon.

1. Rock the "Mom Jeans." Any woman who has had children knows that wearing low rise pants is not comfortable for two reasons. The button in front is cutting into your stretchmarks, and there is a cool breeze in the back. Besides, ask any man if they would rather see a little higher waist, or your Hanes sticking out the back.
2. Wear men's shoes...or women's shoes that look like men's. Feminine shoes are so pointy - pointy heel, pointy toe, pointy decorations. Masculine shoes are curved, have thicker soles and better support, and are generally less expensive. They are much more functional and will last longer. Bonus - they won't damage your feet.
3. Go natural. It absolutely boggles my mind how much women spend on haircuts, much less hair color. Get a simple cut that is easy to take care of, and if you must color your hair, learn how to do it properly at home. The difference is $500 vs. $75 per year. Your nails deserve an entire blog post.
4. Dress healthy. If you live in an area with frigid temperatures for half the year and that receives significant amount of snow and ice, don't be stupid. Wear a hat. And a heavy coat. Gloves are good, but mittens are better. Don't be embarrassed to wear snow boots to work and change into less winter friendly shoes once you get inside. You should keep a cardigan at work, too. Shout out to Mr. Rogers.

The bottom line is wear what you find comfortable, within reason of course. If you end up in one of those "People of WalMart" photos, you've gone too far. Ponder this - do you really care what other people are wearing? Do you even remember what one person that you saw yesterday was wearing? If you are not concerned with their attire, what makes you think that they are concerned about yours.

Resolutions of a Dork

Okay, so I know I am a couple days late with my New Years resolutions, but, truthfully, the ideas have been rolling around in my head for days. I just need to lay it all out in black and white to make them more concrete. Hopefully, sharing them will also make them more concrete.

1. Take better care of myself. This is very vague, but I actually have some measurable goals to go along with this.
• Exercise for at least 120 minutes a week during the first 3 months of 2012. I know this isn't a lot, but it's more than I am doing now. After that, if I make my goal, I will shoot for 180 minutes. If not, I will try again for 120 during the second quarter.
• Eat at least 4 servings of fruits and vegetables per day and replace at least 2 simple carbs with whole grain options. I already eat quite a bit of whole grain: bread - always, pasta - sometimes. My biggest downfalls are hamburger and hotdog buns and that I eat too many sweets.
• Floss every day. I actually have no hope of achieving this goal right away, but possibly get better at it, as the year goes on. Maybe by December I'll have solidified this habit.
2. Have more fun!!!
• Play a game with my kids at least once a week. We are such a busy family that I don't always take the time to do this. We spend a lot of time together, but it is usually not "fun" time. It is helping with homework and driving to activities and watching movies and attending family functions. We tried "Family Game Night," but inevitably one of the kids would have something going on or one of the parents would have a headache. We will have to choose a different day every week, but we need to make time to have fun together.
• Go out on a date with my husband at least once a month. Now that the kids are finally old enough to stay at home without a babysitter, we really need to start taking advantage of that time together. I'm not talking about dinner at Applebee's and a movie, either. Boring! We both love the theatre and live music. There are plenty of opportunities to enjoy both of these things. We just need to stop being big babies about what time it is and how tired we are. Sometimes, we sound like we are elderly. "They don't start playing until 9:00? That's awfully late. We won't get to bed until at least 11:00, maybe even midnight!"
3. Purge the material things in my house and garage. Is it really necessary for me to hang on to my son's baby clothes? He's eight! My cassette tapes? I don't even have a tape player! Clothes that I think might fit me again someday? They're already out of style! (and really, who am I kidding? If I lose weight, I'm going shopping for new stuff, not trying on the old stuff.) Old toys - you know to keep at our house for the grandkids someday? That could be more than 20 years! They probably won't even make batteries for most of those things any more.

So, that's about it. Those are the things I want to accomplish in 2012. I'll set myself a reminder on April 1st to let you know how the first quarter went and if I need to reassess my goals.

I also posted about my business resolutions for 2012. Feel free to check it out at girlmondaysf.blogspot.com

Party Like a Dork

So, last night was New Year's Eve, and rather than "hitting the town", jumping from party to party, or from bar to bar, I spent the night chaperoning at my church's youth group party. That may sound dorky, but considering my other options, I prefer to be a dork.

Options:

1. I could have gone to one of the many clubs in town that are featuring New Year's parties. Unfortunately, they are also featuring music so loud I can't have a conversation with someone right next to me; drunk and sweaty boys, who think they are hot enough to make up for their lack of honorable personality traits; and girls who dress and act like hoochies.
2. I could have gone to one of the smaller, more sophisticated pubs in town that are hosting live bands. This would be a great option for me any other night, but on New Year's Eve, these hangouts are hosting 500 other 30-somethings, with only 25 seats. Not to mention they are charging a $20 cover and $8 for a virgin rum and coke.
3. I could have attended a party at one of my friends' houses. Alas, like me, they were all too exhausted from Christmas to plan a party. At least, that's what I told myself, since I didn't get any invitations.
4. I could have thrown a party at my house. I've tried this in the past. Anyone that isn't staying home with their kids (see number 3) has better things to do (see number 2).
5. I could have stayed at home with my husband and children. We could have watched movies, eaten junk food, drank white grape juice out of plastic champagne glasses, and celebrated the New Year at 11pm with the dropping of the ball in New York (so we could go to bed early.) Truthfully, this is what I usually do and I truly enjoy it. 

So, although there were many options, I chose to ring in the New Year with a bunch of Middle School and High School kids, and I honestly had a good time. We played board games and drank way too much soda. We celebrated at midnight with noise-makers and sparkling grape juice. It was fun and relaxing. The only thing that I would change is that I wish my husband and my son could have been there. Maybe next year!

Definition of a Dork

In this first post of my new blog, I'd like to explain what the word "dork" means to me. The definition that I found on dictionary.com is "a silly, out-of-touch person who tends to look odd or behave ridiculously around others; a social misfit." That pretty much sums it up, although I would like to add that regardless of the social status of a dork, they are generally very confident people. They know they are dorky and they are okay with it. They don't care what anyone else thinks about them. Dorks are not necessarily smart like nerds, but they can act a little nerdy sometimes. They are definitely not fashion-savvy, unless the trend also happens to be comfortable. They have good hygiene, but don't put a whole lot of extra efforts into their looks. They may not be attractive by mainstream standards, but are usually perceived as cute because of their quirky personalities. Everyone has a little dorkiness in them. I invite you to embrace it, let it out, and love the dork within you!